Friday, June 1, 2012

And Let The Church Say Amen

A light shines in the darkness of my misery Lord.  You have brought me from the valley so that I might appreciate the beauty of the mountains and the majesty of your grace. There are times when I cry out: "why me lord?".  But why not me?  Didn't you send your son as sacrifice for my sins? So this is my prayer:

I do not understand why some people must suffer so much pain in this life, heavenly father.  It seems as if there are those who get more than their fair share of hardship.  What does it mean?  I know it's not a case of your forgetting us, but that's what if feels like.  Help me see that where there is suffering, there you are, for you have experienced ultimate suffering, and you suffer with us.  Yet, you overcame pain and death, and in your strength I, too, can triumph.  Cause me to grow in inner beauty and to learn and become wiser through my struggles.  For then, with authenticity and gentleness, I can lead others who are hurting toward your strength and your compassion.

When I was a little girl I loved the hymn: A Charge to Keep I have and Pass Me Not Oh Gentle Savior.  I still love them.  Lord what is your mission for me?  Lead me in your righteousness .  Let me not take up my hand in vengeance and violence.  Listen to my prayer Lord:

When I am tempted to strike out in frustration, anger or revenge at those around me, Lord, remind me that doing so will only perpetuate the very attitudes and actions I try hard to discourage in those who look to me for guidance.  In those emotion-filled moments, I need your strength to back away from the fight.  I need your wisdom to keep my mouth from speaking words I will later regret.  I. need your perspective to see others as people who, like me, need mercy.  Bring your peace into my encounters with others.  Show me how to maintain that peace no matter how another person may choose to behave toward me.  Amen and Amen.

Lord nothing succeeds without you in the midst.  I have sinned and fallen short in your eyes.  My past is littered with my mistakes and there are times when I open my mouth and the words are not Godly.  Please bridle my tongue and help me walk in your live my life as credit to my children....their God.

I felt something was missing from Catherinesdaughter.   It was the one thing that has maintained me and given me strength my entire life.  The one thing  that stopped a bullet from snuffing out a young life, the one thing that delivered a tortured young women from a raging river, the wonderful God who has carried me when I was not even aware of it.  I hope you are proud of me mama, I believe that I will see you again in another life.  I want you to know that I miss your calls just to say "I love you", I even miss when you where mad at me.  I know you did your best and I want you to know that I am so very proud to be CATherinesdaughter.